Forgive me...because this post is about love.
I know, gross, huh. It's all mushy and personal, and I promise this is the first and last time this sort of post will happen. I just want to share this, because I'm really happy about it. So, deal with it. :D
THE (very condensed) STORY OF SEAN
This is Sean.
I met Sean when I was 13. Yes. The first time Sean saw me, I was wearing skater shoes, flare jeans, and had my hair parted down the middle. I was probably listening to Linkin Park.
We met outside the band room at our middle school. My best friend Sarah had a huge crush on Sean, and he liked her, too. I had a huge crush on Sean's brother, Calvin, so Sean and I really had no choice but to become really great friends.
When we went to high school, we had band together again. I mean, a lot of band. Marching band, Wind Symphony, Jazz band. The trombones sat behind the saxophones in Jazz band, and I'd always get in trouble for turning around and talking to him. My teacher can vouch for that.
We not only bonded over music, but also art. Whenever we'd hang out, we would just end up drawing in each other's sketchbooks.
When Sean got his first girlfriend, I remember feeling irrationally annoyed with every little thing she did. I was very protective of Sean, especially when it came to who he dated. In retrospect, I think it might have been fueled by subconscious jealousy.
Sean was protective of me, too.
I recall once when I was having some sort of problem that related to a boy, I called Sean at 2 AM. He let me cry on the phone, and said nice things to make me laugh.
until 6 am when we had to get ready for school, only to see each other an hour later in band. It was always so worth it though, to have those talks. To the dislike of our parents, this same thing happened countless times.
Sometimes I'd have romantic feelings for Sean. I always tried to talk myself out of having those feelings, and it usually worked, mostly because my best friend still had a massive crush on him. I think everybody in our little friend group traded off having a crush on Sean. Besides, I still liked his brother more, you know?
Apparently Sean was more fond of me than I realized.
Here's an excerpt from what he wrote in my senior yearbook, when we were 18:
Hannah, it’s been fantastic. I'll never forget our late-night conversations and awkward situations. You've helped me more than you know.
Whenever you're feeling down, just come back here and read your yearbook. Right here to this page and read this part, where I say: ‘Hannah, you're amazing, and beautiful, and I care about you and I always will.’ That pretty much covers it.
P.S. Call Calvin.
When we graduated from high school, Sean and I attended the same University. Our sophomore year, he we to Washington for 2 years. We both grew up a lot, and when I came home from study abroad, he had also come home from Washington.
We pretty much picked up from where we left off.
After trying, unsuccessfully, to set him up with all of my friends, we ended up just hanging out together all the time. I started realizing that the barrier that Sarah and Calvin had created from the time we were 13 on was no longer there. We weren't limited to being just friends.
One night we went back to my house so I could show him a TV show that I thought he'd like. Partway into the first season, he put his arm around me.
That was two years ago.
I show him my art, and he critiques it. He shows me his, and I do the same. We play a game where we point out fonts and try to guess what they are. Usually he wins, because he has every font memorized. We critique wedding announcements together.
We play Pokemon Fire Red together. We teach each other songs on the guitar. Then we play a LOT of guitar together. We're immature together. We make each other laugh. Like, really laugh.
We also frustrate each other so much sometimes, and we argue over really stupid things. We're both stubborn and difficult and pains in the neck. But we both know that the other is worth the trouble.
In the 10 years I've known Sean, he's shown me every kind of love I've needed. I'm a better person because I know him. Just by being himself, he inspires me to be honest and good, and to try my best at everything I do. He's taught me patience and understanding. His sensitivity has softened my heart, and torn down walls and defenses that I've carefully built up. He loves me when I'm selfish, and when I'm forgetful. He loves me when I'm chaotic, and when I'm peaceful.
He's the best!
He proposed this month. Soooo...I'm totally marrying Sean this coming May. Which means we'll get about 7 months together before the world ends. Then again, he is part Mayan, so maybe we'll be spared? Either way, we're naming our first kid 2012.